Community Lawn Mowing

Has anyone ever taken notice of this? Someone in the neighborhood will decide its a good day to mow the yard. Usually its very silent around the area, except for the normal passing car and barking dog. There isn’t a soul outside their homes anywhere in sight.

Oh wait, here comes the neighbor down the street with his lawn mower. So, now we have two lawn mowers going. No, wait, here’s another one across the street from Guy #1. He must have seen the lawn mower going and figured he’d better get his done too. What’s this? The riding mower people are starting to come out! They have to add to the mix too.

So now, by the time about fifteen or twenty minutes has passed since Guy #1 started up his trusty mower in the once quiet neighborhood, we have about I’d say like five, maybe six, other people who thought this would be a good day to mow their lawn too. Why does this happen? Are people afraid of being left out of the Mowed Lawn Club?

Now they don’t have races or anything, although some days I wonder if they could. But does it really take one lawn mower to start up off in the distance for everyone else to think they need to take care of their lawn too? Are we all so afraid that our lawn will be the messy unmowed lawn of the area that we just have to get out there and do that yard while everyone else is doing theres? Oh and I’m sure there is the feeling of “see pal, I take care of my lawn too!” Meanwhile, five minutes earlier the guy was lounging away in his chair watching some movie on Shoetime.

I just love how people react to the sound of a lawn mower. It’s funny actually because its pretty much a given that where one mower is, five more are not far away working just as hard. I almost want to go outside one day, just start the mower, and wait. Now I won’t do any mowing, I just want to see how many other people hear my mower and think they have to get out and run their own. I’d give it about ten minutes before I heard one in the distance somewhere.

5 Ways Advertisers Want Me To Celebrate July 4th

This was something that started appearing about July 1st, and got to be seriously out of hand. At least to me anyhow. It’s almost like holidays are just all commercial now.

Ok, let me back up. All during the past week we’ve been hit over the head with things to do for Independence Day. So here’s a list of the top five.

Things people want me to do to celebrate our Independence Day:

1. Buy a Toyota

2. Visit Lowe’s or Home Depot and buy something

3. See a Realtor about buying a house

4. Buy furniture from Raymoor & Flanagan because there’s no interest till 2013

5. Oh, eat at Outback Steakhouse

What???

Yeah this is how we should be spending our week remembering how this country was born – by shopping for stupid shit!

Wait, let’s all go eat tomatos and puke on the advertisers in red white and blue.

And people wonder why we’re all in such a financial mess as a nation. Duhhhh.

(and Bill now steps down from his soapbox to blow his hand up with a firecracker)